Miss Manners: They’re horrified to hear how we got our puppy

DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband and I have added a dog to our family We tried to work with a great number of different animal shelters and rescues but it just did not work out for us to go that road Related Articles Miss Manners What to do when the eulogies run past your bedtime Miss Manners She posted online that I stole her socks What do I do now Dear Abby My ex-husband is our neighbor and I m getting fed up with his behavior Miss Manners She was blatantly using the tablecloth as a napkin Is that OK Dear Abby Should I tell my friend how she comes across at our office We also did a lot of research on getting a dog from reputable breeders but we couldn t afford any of them We ended up purchasing a dog from what chosen would call a backyard breeder She was a lovely woman with beautiful healthy puppies and reasonable prices There was nothing shady illegal or puppy mill about her We spent a lot of time making this decision and we are happy with the puppy we got However every time someone asks about our new puppy they want to know what shelter I got him from Several people are horrified to hear I would even consider anything outside of a shelter I don t want to go through the three-year story of our search every time this comes up but I am scared and almost embarrassed to admit I didn t adopt How do I address this I don t want to lie but I have ascertained myself doing that out of fear of harsh rebukes even from strangers Help me find an honest balance Miss Manners GENTLE READER Although it may violate the moral standards of Immanuel Kant and of certain honest-at-all-cost types your dog is smart enough to know not to give a stranger a stick when experience tells him it is going to be used to smack him Instead of telling the stranger that your source was a backyard breeder say you detected your puppy through a friend of a friend or whatever characterization you can invent that is technically true At the same time emphasize the other truth that your new family member was just like a shelter animal in need of a good home Then change the subject to any of a myriad of other topics that dog owners love to discuss but on which Miss Manners sadly cannot be of much help DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband and I live in a small rural area where reputation is very crucial He is a serious alcoholic which results in him missing exercises where his presence is expected I go alone then and am calm doing so except when I am requested Where s Joe I don t want to betray his secret and I don t want to lie so I generally say that he s not feeling well which is true But then I often get follow-up questions about what is wrong especially with COVID since people wonder if contagion is a concern What should I say Related Articles Dear Abby I m afraid to complain about the neighbor s noisy kids Asking Eric I know my toxic brother the golden child is going to come after me at the party Harriette Cole Should I say I don t have the money if she keeps asking me to pay Miss Manners What to do when the eulogies run past your bedtime Dear Abby He ignores my -second rule concerning other women Is that a red flag GENTLE READER The pandemic has provided a reasonable basis for inquiring with what had previously been improper nosiness about other people s diagnostic conditions But fears of contagion should only apply when he is present not when he is absent Arm yourself with a scarce vague phrases and stick to them He is just under the weather It is something he gets from time to time It s nothing to worry about He s so sorry not to be able to be here Miss Manners realizes repetition is tedious but the less disclosed the better Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO