Miss Manners: I say it’s OK to ignore a knock at the door. My neighbor doesn’t agree.

DEAR MISS MANNERS On our neighborhood app one of my neighbors cautioned that two young men had in recent months knocked on her door She could see them on the measure camera and she did not know them She thought them odd but opened the door anyway Related Articles Miss Manners He disclosed he Googled me and was sorry to read about my career Miss Manners Things get awkward when friends tour my art studio Miss Manners Should I pretend I didn t see the news about my relative s misdeed Miss Manners We d been dating for months when I learned the creepy truth Miss Manners They get snippy if I don t give them likes on every little thing Nothing bad happened but she felt unsettled and brought the interaction to our public s attention I commented that it was fine to ignore knocking and to not open your door to strangers adding that it is not even impolite Another neighbor disagreed and disclosed it was impolite Please settle the question GENTLE READER Safety and legality transcend etiquette s social obligations You do not need to be welcoming to someone who is robbing your house The fact that your neighbor was unsettled is enough evidence to affirm that she should not have opened the door Trespassers of any kind need not be treated as guests Miss Manners assures you Even the police may not enter without a warrant DEAR MISS MANNERS I have a number of food allergies I can manage them when dining at home and even in selected restaurants where I can choose what I can handle and request leave-outs But dining at other people s homes is a challenge If a host hostess announces their menu ahead of time and I can tell there s nothing I can eat what do I do Go but take small portions and pretend to eat possibly asking a neighboring diner to eat what I can t Not go at all even though I d like to see them Or tell them I d love to come but will need to bring my own fare as delicious as theirs sounds Please help I m discombobulated GENTLE READER Allergies not mere preferences are legitimate things to mention to a dinner host even if unsolicited The inconvenience of rearranging a menu Miss Manners assures you is still less than that of having to resuscitate a guest DEAR MISS MANNERS While traveling abroad on a group tour I invited three trip companions to share a bottle of wine with me and they agreed None of us were teetotalers As the waiter poured for us one lady refused the wine and ordered a soda Was I obligated to pay for the soda I did but if she had decided on a cocktail instead of the wine what would my obligation have been GENTLE READER Obligation is a strong word but it was a reasonable presumption that you were treating your companions to a round of drinks not just that one particular bottle of wine That your friend deviated from the plan is less of an assault on protocol than you make it out to be Related Articles Dear Abby My neighbor loves swimming in the lake Should I mention the alligator Asking Eric The mom is trying to guilt her teen over his desire to go to school Harriette Cole My date s phone call upset me so much that I had to go home Miss Manners He announced he Googled me and was sorry to read about my career Dear Abby I tried to fuzz my r sum but I m still striking out with employers Paying the nominal cost for her soda which she might have ordered for any number of reasons a pending work call say or a propensity to headaches from that type of wine was the gracious thing to do Getting her a cocktail if she preferred would have likewise been kind although the added expense might have prompted her to offer to pay In either event real or imagined Miss Manners thinks the cost of accommodating your friend s changed mind could hardly be greater than that of hurting the friendship and maintaining a grudge And she trusts that they will treat you for the next round Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO