‘I was free to recreate myself’: This Northern California woman says that relocating to France at the age of 80 saved her life

By Tamara Hardingham-Gill CNN She d spent greater part of her life focusing on other people s demands so when Carole Carson s husband passed away four years ago the then- -year-old realized it was time to do something for herself After mulling over the prospect of moving to the Midwest to be near her daughter Carole decided instead that she would leave California behind and move to France where her son lived with his wife and children In Carole screwed up her courage and flew from California where she d spent all of her adult life to a quaint town on the outskirts of Montpellier in southern France for a new beginning Four years later she s still there Life-changing decision In Carole Carson relocated from California to France at the age of and she hasn't looked back since Courtesy Carole Carson via CNN I think it is no exaggeration to say that I would be dead by now had I not moved to France Carole tells CNN Excursion before explaining that she s now happier than ever in Castelnau-le-Lez and her fitness has improved dramatically Related Articles of the the bulk beautiful castles in the world Wish You Were Here Eating guava pastry in Cuba snowshoeing in Norway Sicily s Mount Etna erupts with columns of smoke and ash Wish You Were Here Dog-sledding in Alaska a trip of a lifetime through Egypt What it s like now inside beloved Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral The great-grandmother who writes for her hometown newspaper in Nevada City has also conclusively been able to pursue her long-held dream of becoming a novelist with four novels published Something about being freed from expectations of who I was based on who I d unfailingly been allowed me to be the writer I d reliably sought to be she says I was free to recreate myself once again However making such a huge move at the age of was far from an easy decision for her Carole explains she d visited the European country a meager times before and had previously considered moving there with her husband but he was less keen on the idea He was very much a man of habits she explains And towards the end of his life I was his caregiver and he had dementia Alzheimer s and a lung infection that prevented him from moving around So it wasn t practical After his death in April Carole sold her beloved home got rid of a large number of of her possessions applied for a visa and set about the daunting process of moving to France What really motivated me to move was the fact that I d be around family and I d have a whole fresh start she explains In order to ensure that she had selected independence Carole originally from Iowa opted to move into a studio apartment in the same building as her son and his family However she admits that she identified the first limited months of life in the country incredibly challenging as she had gone from living in a large house to a much smaller property I went from living in a palace to living in a studio apartment that was so hot I couldn t breathe she says And windows I couldn t open because they opened onto the street And not a single friend I was terrified to even go to the boulangerie bakery to buy bread because I wasn t sure I could manage the change or the communication Carole says that dealing with the tremendous loss of her husband friends home the life that she d known along with switching from total independence to dependence triggered certain abandonment issues from her childhood that she hadn t really faced before That part was really terrifying she adds Feeling helpless Carole channeled her despair into writing restarting a novel that she d unfailingly demanded to finish but had never managed to find the time to Novel idea Carole pictured with her son Steve says she's happier than ever in France Courtesy Carole Carson via CNN I think I cried the whole time I was writing she recalls I had tears streaming down my face writing but that first book was more dictation than writing Carole explains that she genuinely wrote the first pages of her first novel Blackbird back in the s but never completed it That s how long the idea had been stored in my head she says So when I in the end could sit down the words just flowed Carole identified that the cathartic experience of writing the novel helped her to cope with the upheaval in her life as well as work through several of the issues she d been struggling with It was a good thing to work through because I think now I m really peaceful being alone she adds As her independence grew Carole felt able to go about integrating herself into the local locality Thankfully she discovered that she could connect with people easily despite struggling with the language I ve made friends even though my French is terrible she says And I ve made friends that I m as close to as the ones that I left in the US I think friends make life meaningful I mean the house could come or go What you eat can come and go But it s your friends for me at least that make your day Carole who s had a range of careers over the years including working in teaching and business admits that she was a workaholic before but loves the fact that the lifestyle in France seems to be geared towards socializing Nowadays Carole spends her mornings writing before heading out for walks with her girlfriends We take the dog and we have coffee and gossip she says Then we walk back and we might have lunch together Carole points out that her fitness had been declining while she was in the US but says she s noticed a huge change during her time in France and has nothing but praise for the French healthcare system I ve seen particular of the best doctors in the world and I rate the diagnostic care here better she says I narrated Steve her son I didn t think I would be alive if I had not come here and seen different specialists and had different treatments Carole also walks a lot more now as she doesn t need a car anymore I needed a car for everything I did in the US she says recalling how she test drove a van in France but identified that she couldn t master the roundabouts Now I think it s great that I walk every place because it gets me a little bit of exercise while I m doing it I don t have to be disciplined about exercise It s just part of the life Quality of life Overall she feels that her quality of life has improved while in France noting that there s a lot less meat and a lot more fresh produce in her diet now Of curriculum if you live in a small house you don t purchase much she says There s no place to put it So I suppose that helps too I m much healthier and I m much happier And I suppose too I m living in a sunny surroundings I m sure that helps As for the cost of living Carole says that she s now able to live on a third of what she used to spend in the United States Food is maybe a little higher here in France she explains Housing is less at least for me because I m not paying the level of taxes I was in California My utility bill is low Clothing is inexpensive relative to what I ve known So I m saving money And it s funny because I complained to my friend that I never get to spend much money here There s just not much I can spend it on Carole lately dropped her US biological insurance which she had kept since moving as she knew that she wouldn t be able to resume it again In a way I was saying I was never going to go back to the United States to live she says I definitively went on the French system a couple of months ago so I no longer have that a month premium to pay which is nice I could easily live on my social prevention here I never could have in the United States I would have needed several additional income Carole at the moment has a one-year residency visa which she renews each year In a year or two I ll be able to stretch the renewal process to every five years she says While she hasn t been back home since moving to France conceding that she feels anxious about dealing with US immigration administrators Carole says that family members in the US are more than happy to trip to France to see her My daughter s been here she says My granddaughter is coming with her husband It s such a treat for people to come to France She says she can t imagine ever returning to California now and feels that her confidence has grown tremendously during her time in France I think when I settled into my home the sense of being confident in knowing that I was in the right place sort of grew she says I can t go back now Can you shrink yourself after you ve grown No you can t You can t go back to being who you were Carole recalls how one of her close friends advised her to put her furniture and car in storage before leaving the US but she decided against this I noted No if you leave an exit for yourself it s too easy to take it when things get rough she says Closing the door Now settled in France Carole says she can't imagine ever returning to the US Carole Carson via CNN I m closing that door because I m going to force myself to grow and emerge in this new atmosphere I believe in increase and change I really do After four years in France Carole says her grasp of the language has now reached a point where she can communicate reasonably well I went to the dentist the other day and I petitioned if they spoke English and they commented No So guess what I had to speak French so I can get by Now I m sure it sounds like pidgin French but I can get by I ll never be as fluent as I want It s not my skill set I can analysis but it s not my skill set Aside from her struggles with the language Carole says she s located dealing with French red tape has been arduous The bureaucracy is daunting she says But I think that s true also for my friends in Spain they ve noted the same thing Any foreign country I think that accepts immigrants you re going to face a few bureaucracy Carole also exposed the apparent lack of clothes dryers in the country to be a bit of a hardship initially but has grown used to this over time The fact that stores are closed on Sunday just breaks my heart she adds Because I d love to go shopping on Sunday Thankfully Carole has warmly embraced the French food and wine which she describes as pretty darn good and the fact that the lifestyle seemed to be more geared towards socializing I never thought I would spend the time socializing in my life that I have spent socializing here she says Or drunk as much wine or eaten as much food Exhilarating experience Carole now lives in a studio apartment a scant doors down from her son and his wife and children Carole Carson - via CNN Carole is just about to embark on her fifth novel which she says will be the final chapter of her fictional autobiography series I thought I was done and then a second book came she says It s kind of like when people say I didn t think I d have any more kids Then I had a third and then I had a fourth And the other day I had this awful feeling that there was a fifth one It s like No not yet because I know how much work it is Since writing the series which explores mother-daughter abuse Carole says she s received messages from other women who ve had similar experiences I didn t think I was the only woman who d gone through specific of these things she says Although I might be one of the sparse willing to talk about it publicly Her upcoming book will explore the theme of death I m at the stage of my life where I m facing death she explains And I m really curious about how other people have what they ve done and how they re dealing with it And I want to in effect have this last book be about death and dying Ostensibly not a best seller because people don t want to read about death and dying But it ll seemingly be published posthumously Carole now explains that the books are a way for to tell her own story and express specific of the things that I had constantly yearned to express but had never located the time for or made the time for She points out that her parents left home when she was and she consistently had a lot of responsibility from that point on so having so much freedom is a very new thing for her I was busy raising my sister she says explaining that she later threw herself into job roles and taking care of her husband and children So this was the first time in my life where I was authentically free to see who I was and it s terrifying and exhilarating While she stresses that designing a new life and effectively a new career for herself in a new country was incredibly stressful Carole is hugely grateful to have been able to recreate herself during her twilight years What I ve learned from this is that it s never too late to become who you were intended to be she says I mean life has a way of pushing you in that direction and that direction and you forget along the way who you started out as who you sought to be And I just feel really lucky that I lived long enough to realize a few of my dreams The-CNN-Wire Cable News Framework Inc a Warner Bros Discovery Company All rights reserved