Harriette Cole: Out of nowhere, my neighbor set the conversation on an unpleasant path

DEAR HARRIETTE As we all know there s a lot of debate happening in the world lately which often makes for heated discussions Related Articles Harriette Cole How can I teach this crooked mechanic a lesson Harriette Cole Why can t we have a nice anniversary like my friends did Harriette Cole I m being pressured to interfere in my brother s messy breakup Harriette Cole I want this manager to hurry up and poach me Harriette Cole Gentle parenting is not going to solve this kid s challenge The other day a sparse neighbors and I were in the common room of our building talking about a few of the maintenance issues we ve experienced in the building Out of nowhere one guy began sharing his thoughts on immigration I am cordial with my neighbors but not close with any of them I was utterly caught off guard and so were other people in the room While I know not all of us share the same views on immigration I knew at that moment that majority of us didn t even want to broach the topic What is a respectful way to end these kinds of politically charged conversations Avoiding Politics DEAR AVOIDING POLITICS It is OK to speak up in a group like that especially with your neighbors and ask for that line of discussion to end You can say Let s agree to keep political topics off the table here This is a sensitive subject and I m sure among us there are multiple opinions but this is home Let s keep it a safe space by making it a politically neutral zone If he or someone else were to push back you could push too and add that the group was talking about something else before he interjected this unwelcome topic Similarly whenever someone introduces a subject that offends you or you don t want to entertain be ready to ask them to change the topic You can do that DEAR HARRIETTE Nearly a decade ago my husband was diagnosed with early-onset dementia He has been rapidly declining for the past couple of years We were in our early s when he was diagnosed and he had apparently been dealing with it for years already As things got worse for him I assumed the role of his caretaker and the wife in me promptly slipped away Unfortunately his wellbeing got to a point where we had to put him in a care home I know this may sound selfish but after years of feeling alone I have been contemplating dating again We are still married but sadly my husband is not himself anymore He has lost his ability to speak and hasn t recognized me for a long time Why do I feel like I am betraying him when I consider dating again Wife s Guilt DEAR WIFE S GUILT You are craving companionship From what I have read this can be complex for support workers of dementia patients Related Articles Miss Manners She won t shut up about how fortunate she is and I dread talking to her Dear Abby He knows it s shady but he won t stop ogling young women Asking Eric Is this enough reason to violate my son s no-contact request Harriette Cole How can I teach this crooked mechanic a lesson Miss Manners We were yelled at in a Paris opera house Were we in the wrong First I d suggest you engage a therapist Talk through your feelings and then do what the experts recommend join a backing group to safely express your feelings talk to family to let them know what you are thinking and make a decision that you can live with that helps you to cope and live your life This is arduous as you know You can expect that selected people will judge you on your actions Get the blessing of your loved ones if you can That can help you take the procedures you need to care for yourself Learn more in this news article about partners of Alzheimer s patients Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO