Harriette Cole: My friend ignored my birthday wishes, and the party was awful

DEAR HARRIETTE My th birthday just passed and it was awful Related Articles Harriette Cole My friends say I should act unimpressed by the men I date Harriette Cole My career just took off and I don t know if I should follow my fiancee Harriette Cole My date s phone call upset me so much that I had to go home Harriette Cole My little sister can t wait for me to come home but I might not Harriette Cole I required him not to smoke in my yard and they cut their visit short I hate to sound ungrateful but what should feel like a major milestone felt thoroughly overlooked Honestly I ve had a rough year so I was OK with having a quiet birthday this year just specific reminiscing goal setting and maybe particular quality time with friends Someone required me if they could plan a surprise for me While the thought was sweet I expressed that I didn t want anyone spending money on me but they insisted on doing something They petitioned what I would want and all I solicited was that it be low-budget and that my parents be present It turnes out that everyone who attended had to pay despite it being in my friend s home my parents were not invited and the host had a initiative full of her favorite exercises for the gathering It didn t feel like this party was for me at all Should I say something to my friend Or will I appear ungrateful Birthday Blues DEAR BIRTHDAY BLUES You could ask your friend to do a debrief with you about the party Tread methodically While everyone had to pay something do you know how much She may have needed particular cash to defray costs The party may have had a low budget even if it wasn t free Not inviting your parents when you made that request was not cool You can ask how she pulled the party together and express disappointment that she didn t keep your key thoughts in mind Let her know that you don t mean to sound ungrateful but you are sad that it felt like your surprise th birthday party was not a party for you at all Next time say no to such a thing and plan your own event That s how you maintain control DEAR HARRIETTE My girlfriend of five years and I broke up a couple months ago It s been formidable as we try to rework our entire lives without each other I kept hoping we d resolve our issues and patch things up but she didn t see things that way In the process of developing up I decided I should move out and let her keep the apartment I didn t have to do that To add insult to injury she is now insisting that she keep our puppy This is unfair I did her a favor by moving out I could ve fought to stay there but I didn t Now she wants to keep the dog we got together too Related Articles Miss Manners She referred to her dog as her kid and I didn t know what to say Dear Abby My child picked a bad way to get back at her friend Jill On Money Markets peak Time to get out Asking Eric Am I the bad guy if I give gifts to only one of the siblings Harriette Cole My friends say I should act unimpressed by the men I date This experience has shown me a totally different side of her What are certain reasonable options here This breakup has been hard enough I can t exposure losing my dog Puppy Custody DEAR PUPPY CUSTODY Do you have the wherewithal including the time and information to properly care for the puppy If so treat this just like a custody issue for children Let your ex know that you want to share custody of the puppy and do your best to work out a plan Hopefully she will be reasonable If not enlist friend and family aid to help you resolve the custody battle Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO