Harriette Cole: My cousin believed his wife’s lies about me

DEAR HARRIETTE I called my cousin Joe to wish him a happy birthday He and I were born in the same year and grew up like siblings Related Articles Harriette Cole My friend is getting odd texts and she says I need to intervene Harriette Cole He says he wasn t himself on our disastrous first date Must I give him another chance Harriette Cole My co-workers don t know this secret about our horrible boss Harriette Cole We re supposed to return to the office and that s a complication for me Harriette Cole Is it time to file a complaint about the neighbors or will that make it worse Now that we live in different states we don t talk as often but when we do we like to catch up So when I called on his birthday I was excited to hear what s new with him I happened to ask how his wife was doing and after telling me she s doing well he urged me why I have been talking to her about leaving him I was so confused I barely talk to his wife not for any particular reason just because we don t really know each other that well I explained to Joe that I don t call her and he insisted that he knows I do and that she s been telling him what I say I narrated him she s presumably trying to upset him but he doesn t believe me What kind of wedge is she trying to drive between Joe and me Lying Wife DEAR LYING WIFE Reiterate that you have not spoken to your cousin s wife at all If you want to help him get to the bottom of this ask him to invite you over to his house when his wife will be there The three of you can talk about it openly The bigger issue though is their relationship He necessities to address that What is going on and why is his wife introducing the idea of a separation through a third party you Joe demands to address his life head-on not be distracted by what his wife disclosed you revealed Tell him that DEAR HARRIETTE I have the opportunity to take a job where my friend will be my boss I ve never worked in an circumstances with someone I was friends with prior to working with them and I don t often make a habit of becoming close friends with co-workers I m a bit wary This friend of mine is someone I have known since middle school Our dynamic now is not consistent but when we do see each other usually two or three times a year it s like we haven t missed a beat I wonder if the fact that we don t spend much time together will be a good thing if we end up working together She has a trustworthy and easygoing way about her I just wonder what I don t know about my friend yet that could impact our relationship if she becomes my manager Am I thinking too far ahead Friend in Charge Related Articles Dear Abby My husband reported the text he got from my brother was just a joke Should I believe him Asking Eric I figured out my wife s password and caught her in a lie Harriette Cole My friend is getting odd texts and she says I need to intervene Miss Manners The secret about my new house got out and now things are awkward at work Dear Abby My friend announced there was no wedding date Then I detected her website DEAR FRIEND IN CHARGE Talk to your friend about her expectations and her work style Ask her to tell you how she manages the association and what she wants from you Tell her you intend to do a great job and you want to have a clear understanding of what that would look like for her Don t plant any seeds of negativity or doubt Just listen and learn If you do end up being her subordinate do your best to remember your roles and resist asking for favors or different restoration than she offers others Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO